I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Randomize
