lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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