apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
