Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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