He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Randomize
