I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize