**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I am puke
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
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