my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
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