his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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