I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Randomize
