I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
