the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Randomize
