I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Randomize
