Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Randomize