holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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