I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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