Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Randomize
