If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Randomize