It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
