but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
