he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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