i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
