So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
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