its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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