You can't motorboat a personality
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
