I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Randomize
