Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
