we're blogging at a bar
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Randomize
