so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Randomize
