Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
You ate ashes out of my bong
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
