You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
