Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Randomize
