You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
