Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
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