i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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