Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I got inside last night via doggy door
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
