dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize
