I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
