and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
