is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
