if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
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