You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize