In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
