my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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