Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
