No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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