we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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