does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Randomize
