moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
