everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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