yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
