Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
