Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
