i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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