I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
